Musician: Hey Apple, I just had to accept a new license agreement for your iTunes platform.
Apple: So what? You have been really reading through it?
Musician: It says that I have to use GarageBand if I want to see any music I produce on iTunes.
Musician: Well but I do not like GarageBand. I would like to use Ableton Live.
Apple: Sorry but you are not allowed to use that.
Musician: But it is suited very well for electronic music.
Apple: Use GarageBand then. It is a magical and amazing product!
Musician: Okay fair enough, but what if I would like to play the piano? An instrument I have practiced since more than eight years. I think I am creating better music on a piano than with GarageBand.
Apple: Then you invested your time in the wrong instrument.
Musician: Okay. What about the Audiotool? Can I use it?
Apple: That application does not even run on our devices. Those developers are lazy.
Musician: Errr, okay. So if I use GarageBand I can do what I want?
Apple: No. If you use the F-word in a song for example it won’t be distributed via iTunes.
Musician: You are kidding. Why?
Apple: Because we think that it is not appropriate.
Musician: That must be a joke.
Apple: Not at all. Your child could listen to that song — think about it.
Musician: Well, I think I know best what’s good for my child. Besides, would some parental control system not help here?
Apple: Next question please.
Musician: Okay, assume I use GarageBand and that my content is “appropriate”. Can I be sure it will make it to the iTunes store?
Apple: First we will check it.
Musician: How long will that take?
Apple: Up to two months.
Musician: Are you serious?
Apple: Yes. There is plenty of music being created and we want to filter only whats best for our users.
Musician: And you think you can decide that?
Musician: Okay, let me sum this up quickly: I have to use GarageBand to create any music for iTunes. It has to be “appropriate” and then you let me wait for quite some time to tell me whether you like it or not?
Apple: Now you make it sound like as if we were evil. Google is evil. We are the good guys! And look, the new iPad. Isn’t it beautiful?
Musician: Oh, yeah. I really want that overpriced product. Where can I buy it?
Apple: In our certified Apple retail stores.
Musician: And you will not pull me over this time like you did with the iPhone when you dropped the price dramatically two weeks after its release?
Apple: No. Not exactly. We will release an iPad with a webcam soon. And we will charge $200 extra for that.
Sounds strange doesn’t it? Thank god this was just a fictional interview and will never become reality.